My New Year's Revolution

I posted on Facebook on New Year's Day that I am not doing a resolution this year. I have been thinking about this for awhile now and I have decided to change a few things in my life. Mostly my attitude in how I look at the various aspects of my life. But there is way more to this than an attitude. I know this is completely personal but I decided to publish it in order to keep me accountable. I know that others read this, it's a blog of course! So knowing that others are reading it will help me keep on track. And I have no shame in sharing my life. I'm not saying I won't slip up, fail, retry, fail again, revamp. I'm human, a woman with a family and a full time job. But I'm not going to let those things be my only excuse. I am not a writer, so apologize ahead of time if my thoughts are not precise or exactly clear. I'll do my best to convey what I am feeling. But here is my outline to what I hope will lead to a life-changing revolution...

I am 36 years old. I just had a birthday and birthdays are often a time of reflection for me. I'm not exactly sure why this new year and this recent birthday caused to me want to change. I'm sure it was a combination of things. I have so much more life to look forward to, God willing. I am choosing to be happy. Everyone, get on board! I am choosing to love myself. This is the best way to for me to be a better wife, a better mom, a better friend. Part of keeping me in my happy place, is taking time for myself. I am going to start taking time once a month to recharge my batteries and do whatever I please. I am hoping to keep up with friendships but I might just use the time to sleep. Who knows. But I will leave the house and I am choosing to take this time GUILT FREE. My husband and kids will be fine if I am gone for an evening or a morning. This time will help me be the better wife and mother I want to be.

I want to be a better prayer. When I do pray, I almost always apologize for not being a better prayer. It shouldn't be an excuse but my chaotic work schedule makes it hard for me to have a routine for anything. I know a lot of people pray first thing in the morning. Well, sometimes I'm at work in the morning and sometimes I've been up all night with a baby and sometimes I just forget. But I WILL be a better prayer. I want a closer relationship with God. And praying will help get me there. I also want to read my bible. I don't want to say that I will read it daily. But that is my ultimate goal. I always learn something when I study the bible so I don't know why I don't do it more often. Praying and reading will lead to overall happiness.

I will get back to learning my guitar. I want to be able to play comfortably in church in the next year. I hope to one day write a song. I want to experience worship in a deeper and more meaningful way. And learning and using a new instrument seems to be where God is leading me. This too will make me happy.

I WILL get my finances is order. I am not sure what the plan is, but there will be one soon. It might be Dave Ramsey or another financial advisor, but IT WILL GET DONE. I will no longer have angst and therefore happiness will once again reign in the money arena. I'm not sure what the exact scripture is but I will be happy with any situation, rich or poor or in between.

I will not let sleep deprivation rule me. It will get me from time to time. I have to be realistic, I have two small children and work nights. But it will get better and I know that.

I am ready for a wild ride. A journey to who knows where. Who's with me?